Dating

Yes, dating. Why dating? Scrutinizing the way courtship, marriage and how people interact in a society can offer some excellent insights. Due to a prevalence of religion in Egypt, dating is slightly different that in the States. Now please understand that my meager knowledge of this topic is holistically secondhand and/or hearsay. So to remove ambiguities here are a few of the most pertinent questions answered.

What is dating?
The popular definition is: Where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Quaint, eh?

Is dating forbidden is Islamic culture?
Yes

What, what?
Dating in Islamic countries is highly frowned upon by religious doctrine but I will get to that later.

Is "dating" in Islam comparable to dating in America?
Yes, but no. It's purpose as a selection process is slightly different and the standard procedures are very different.

How is it different?
The biggest disparity is the amount of family involvement. The Quraan states quite explicitly that couples should always be accompanied by a family member because "Whenever a man and a women are along together they are accompanied by Satan." This is slightly reminiscent, to me at least, of the British World War 2 poster advocating carpooling that proclaimed "When you ride alone you ride with Hitler" and had a nice little picture of a Wanker riding with a ghostly fuhrer. Furthermore couples should "lower their gaze to guard their modestly." Good thing the Brits didn't advocate that practice while driving.

Ok so step 1: Pray that Allah will send a suitable mate your way. This applies to both men and women.

Step 2: Family meeting! The pertinent members of the family gather to investigate and discuss potential nominees. After consensus is reached the mother or father will approach the head of the selectee's household.

Step 3: Meeting the date: This stage is the closest thing to "dating" and is always conducted in a group setting meaning the couple will always be accompanied by a family member, usually the mother of the girl. This reminds me of the courtship strategy suggested by Joshua Harris in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", a book which many parents of my high school contemporaries forced their progeny to read. Mr Harris's thesis is that the concept of dating should be exchanged for a "Group Courtship" which I do condone however Mr Harris did not foresee the probability that if a couple, Christian or otherwise, get married they will be spending time alone and will have no bearing on how their now spouse is during the non social hours. This rather skewed view of Ah well, target your market as they say. Mr Harris has sold a million copies of his book and 300,000 of the accompaniying study guide (these are mostly denim jumper home schoolers after all).

Step 4: Background check time. The families ask about the other family by talking with friends, family, co-workers, religious leaders, and of course, Google.

Step 5: Pray again. Just to make sure all the metaphysical bases are covered.

Step 6: Decision time. A while ago the powers that be decided that the people who are to be married should have final say in who they marry. This was done to avoid making women a commodity and discourage marriage becoming a parental business venture.